In terrifying news, I have discovered that YET ANOTHER one of my ex-flames, The Rebound, is engaged. This comes hot on the heels of discovering--all in the same 6 months, mind--that The College Ex got married and the ex-boyfriend immediately following--the guy who broke my heart so bad I didn't even think about kissing anyone else for about two years*--is not only married but has HAD A FRICKING BABY.
...I am comforted by the fact that they are all world-class morons, of course.
I am further comforted by the fact that I have somehow, despite all odds, completely inexplicably managed to secure the attention and affection of a strapping young whippersnapper of an Aussie boyfriend. This sort of luck bemuses me--if anyone knows who spiked his punch and how I can make sure I have that person on staff in perpetuity, please contact me ASAP.
*Ok, that's a slight exaggeration... understatement. Whatever.

No comments:
Post a Comment