dickishness

Why haven't I posted anything recently? Well, I'll tell you why: because what I want to post about—e.g., the ridiculous things that happen to me on a daily [fine, weekly] basis—would involve slightly too much trash-talking to be viable when so many folks I know read this blog. Allow me to explain: this blog became boring for me to post on when I started worrying about pissing people off, since I apparently can't write about anything without pissing someone off. And what's the point of blogging if I can't vent about the weird crap that happens to me?

Other than that, here is a list of things that have happened in the past month:

• Blythe visited. Despite having really bizarrely yellowy-colored hair, made out with a random dude on the dance floor. And then I dragged (literally, dragged) a profoundly drunk Blythe 4 avenue blocks across town to get in a cab.
• Went on a date with same random dude the next day (yes, I know, the next day. Whatever, I wasn't doing anything)... to see The Wrestler. Conan O'Brien was sitting next to us. Random dude wants to hold my hand during the movie. I am confused, since the movie is about a washed-up wrestler and occasionally Marisa Tomei trots about without her top. Not really hand holding material, I think? And Conan is sitting next to us, and my hand is sweating, and really, you want to hold hands while Marisa Tomei swings herself around a stripper pole? Anyway, nice guy but didn't hear from him after that evening. Whatever. Rejection is my life these days and I just can't get it up to care.
  
• Got a super-sweet, completely absurd Tshirt in the mail from Michael5000.
• Met crossword sensation (so he tells me. And tells me) Rex Parker in real life, dragged him to the NY Public Library, MoMA, and organicy-good restaurant. He fed me, which earns him 10,000 virgins in the next life.
  
• Obtained a bionic arm. (Next stop: world domination.)
• Drank two bottles of champagne with roommate and her boyfriend. MIRACULOUSLY not hungover.
• Re-read 6 romance novels that I've already read. Realize I have been celibate for longer than is normal. Life begins to lose its meaning. Or perhaps it's just March.
  
• Got funding to go to Florence.
• Successfully avoided doing any work at all today. Excellent.
  

I want to go to there

I want to go to a place that has the following things:
unhappy Ex-boyfriends
free hot chocolate
kittenheads
art
my brother's dog
magical wrist-ligament-healing water or fairies or wizards or whatever
lots of sunlight
a beach
friendly people who want to give me money

If you know of a place like this, please contact me ASAP.

GimpMaster 3000

Yeah. Thanks to being too flexible and undermuscular, I've reinjured myself. I have to immobilize my wrist for SIX F*ING WEEKS. Ya'll better get used to seeing some poorly typed posts.


...Also, I did mention I'm a grad student, right? THAT MY LIFE CONSISTS OF TAKING NOTES AND WRITING?

Balls.

ahead of the curve?

Strangely enough, I am slightly ahead of the curve in terms of this semester's work. Turns out it's much easier to get cracking earlier in the semester when one isn't working three days a week, doesn't have to write a lecture about STDs and health service art from scratch [ha! bad pun], and --instead of 3 seminars with 100 pages of reading and a 3 page response paper PER CLASS PER WEEK-- takes only 2 classes. In fact, the first two weeks of January were so profoundly hellish, it was actually a relief to head into February. Weird.

As a result, I'm hoping to be able to blog just a little bit more (including on Kittenheads). Considering the bad luck I've had with blogging of a personal nature, I'm going to have to come up with a more specific objective, so I'll probably just post more about the artsy stuff I'm finding.

Like, for example, Holland Cotter's gleeful celebration of the tanking of the art market at NYTimes, The Boom Is Over. Long Live the Art! Laugh it up, buster. We'll see how many art critics are left in a year.

In the meantime, I will leave you with the following quote describing the plight of the foreign worker in spiraling Dubai:

"We are all just sleeping, smoking, drinking coffee and having headaches because of the situation."*

It is rather strange and sad that this is a pretty accurate description of my life in general--with or without any economic crises.


*From from Hamza Thiab, a 27-year-old Iraqi who moved to Dubai from Baghdad in 2005, lost his job, and has until the end of February to find a new one. In Laid-Off Foreigners Flee as Dubai Spirals Down. (NYTimes,Feb 11, 2009)

Worst Laid Plans

Given our similarity in size (scrawny), features (small), attitude (snarky), and a certain overly dramatic way of telling a story, perhaps it is no coincidence that, in high school, the woman in this video and I were frequently confused for each other. She started off college as an art history major, I as a drama major, and then we switched. I kind of have a feeling that we both should have stuck to our original plans. The best laid plans...

these are not the hammer

In preparation for AWESOMEFEST 2009 (i.e., Blythe coming to NYC TOMORROW), I have been watching this masterwork of awesomeness: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. i'm sure that I am only about 9 months behind on this, but whatever. To watch it is to love it:Please refer to 24:50-25:05. Thank you, Joss Whedon.

Guess who's studying in Florence over the summer?

Your favorite blogger (ME), that's who. For four weeks. FUNDED (I hope). In MAY AND JUNE. Oh yeah.

The last time I was in Florence I was whizzing around on the back of a scooter driven by a soccer-mad Italian man named Domenico.

Check. It. Out.:

READING FLORENCE AND TUSCAN ARCHITECTURE AND URBANISM: AN INTRODUCTION
May 18-June 13, 2009
As an introduction to the buildings and public spaces of medieval and early Renaissance Florence, the brilliant architectural culture that between the 1290s and c. 1470 led all Europe. This course is conducted entirely on site in the buildings, streets, and squares of the city. Beyond fostering factual knowledge, we develop skills in archaeological, formal, iconographic, contextual, and site analysis. These skills potentially address not only Florentine studies, but the history of architecture in general. Emphasis is placed on the way buildings are situated, initiated, grow and change through time; the evolution of the classical tradition in Florence; the role of individual architects vs. collaborations; the materials and detailing of buildings, all media included; the form and function of public space, including perspectivism as well as religious, political, and economic use; the expansion and development of the city. Sites include the Baptistery, S. Miniato al Monte, S. Maria Novella, S. Croce, the Cathedral and Campanile, Orsanmichele, the Palazzo Vecchio, S. Lorenzo, the Pazzi Chapel, the Ospedale degli Innocenti, S. Spirito, the Palazzo Medici, and other aspects of the city, among them the walls and key vernacular works, in every case, studied in the context of their spatial environment. Access to parts of major buildings not normally open to the public is gained whenever possible. In addition, several field trips take the class outside Florence, for example to Siena, Pienza, and Montepulciano.

Words can not express how thrilled I am.

business of ferrets

For those of us nerdbombs out there that actually enjoy this sort of stuff--Blythe, I'm talking to you--here are two fabulous things, both related to my favorite dictionary website, AskOxford.com (what, you don't have a favorite dictionary website?):

1. Their FAQ is the awesomest thing I've come across in at least a week and a half (slow week). Sample question and answer:

Is there a term for the 'study of love'?

There is a word 'erotology' which is defined as "the 'science' of love". This is a rarely used word, except in anthropology, where it is found slightly more often. This term really relates to the study of sexual activity and techniques rather than to the study of love itself.* The only word this editor can think of for that is 'marriage'!**

2. They have also posted a fairly comprehensive list of terms of venery*... by which, of course, I mean collective terms for animals. Some of my favorites include:
cats: clowder
owls: parliament
rattlesnakes: rhumba
ferrets: business ...and this one wins for just sheer, wonderful absurdity:

Illustration--and interesting etymological background--may be found at Le Pen Quotidien.

Oh, also, Oxford University Press is having a sale through March 3.



* Not, say, life as a singleton in NYC?
** Madame Editor, your answer scares and depresses me.

where were you?

I was in MarieBelle chocolate shop, preparing to purchase a delicious gourmet hot chocolate to assuage my sad conviction that I had missed the speech whilst hair modeling, when I heard Obama's tinny voice echoing from somewhere in the depths of the store. I watched the inaugural speech streaming live on one of the dishwashers' computers in the back of the store, promptly started crying, and then got an "inaugural" hot chocolate compliments of the house.

A good day.

Also, I'm going blond: Exciting times, people.

blood of the bourgeoisie

Lindeman's Framboise: the blood of foppish Belgian dandies who dined only on raspberries and champagne.